Contrarian Department of Words Mean Things, Dammit

[leahbobet]

Quote, from this article on the New York City bedbug problem:

"'We want to send a message to bedbugs,' City Council Speaker Christine Quinn said, announcing the measure Wednesday: 'Drop dead. Your days are over.'"

1) Bedbugs aren't listening. They're bugs. You cannot send them a message. They have no motherfucking language centre or mammalian brain to put one in.
2) You cannot engage in psychological warfare tough talk with bugs. They're not scared. Because they're bugs and do not hear or understand you.
3) Nobody is actually going to send the United States Marines into a protracted land war with bedbugs right after this announcement.

---

Yes, there are literal, figurative, metaphoric, formal (as in an arrangement of forms), slang, etc. interpretations of language and all are valid; that's one of the things that makes language cool. But language isn't just forms; it's not an empty box. There's meaning in that box. Words mean things.

This is a mindfulness applicable to writing prose fiction; it deals with spotting second-order cliches and getting them out of your writing. It's also a good way to make sure, well, we aren't sounding hellaciously silly. :p

This is why rhetoric is cool and more people should learn it. The end.

Comments

[hawkwing-lb.livejournal.com]

Friends, citizens, fellow Romans: it is my sad duty today to inform you our negotiations with that barbarous tribe, the bedbugs, have come to nothing. They most obstinately refuse our every overture. So we are resolved, as citizens of this most glorious state, that - we regret - we have no other option. The bedbugs must be exterminated. Our legions will triumph.

...In other words, your icon and I are in complete agreement.

[leahbobet.livejournal.com]

I get they're using the empty forms of War on [BLANK] political talk? But I have to wonder if there isn't some aide somewhere who's paid to look at this stuff and go "No, you are ascending into self-parody."

[saladinahmed.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha!

In their defense, neither Quinn nor Bloomberg have mammalian brains either, so the mistake is understandable.

Also, even a dude as schlubby as myself sees the error here: "the trendy Hollister flagship store in SoHo briefly closed after critters crawled into hip clothing." Er...Hollister is a mall store. It's neither hip nor trendy.

[moon-custafer.livejournal.com]

Also, it sort of makes it sound as though the bugs were trying on the clothing. Bedbugs cannot wear hipster jeans, because they are too small and have too many legs.

[leahbobet.livejournal.com]

Also, they lack the requisite DNA to grow moustaches.

[olletho.livejournal.com]

even bad ones.

[leahbobet.livejournal.com]

I love how they mention that it's "hip" clothing. Like Google Adwords is being invoked that very second.

[kriz1818.livejournal.com]

Yay rhetoric! Do you know Silva Rhetoricae? http://humanities.byu.edu/rhetoric/silva.htm

[leahbobet.livejournal.com]

Oh hey, I did not! Thank you!

[barbarienne.livejournal.com]

LOL! Oh, politicians, how I love your wacky mutilation of English.

The bedbug problem in NYC is insane. It's become an epidemic, and I imagine at least part of this linguistic idiocy is because people are at their wits' end trying to figure out how to deal with this.