Quandaries

[leahbobet]

No book work today.

My sinuses have been going haywire and my back aching, and I'm feeling just a little out of step with the real world: dizzy and wierd and just not quite right. Not the mindset for revising, and definitely not the mindset for putting in the new scene. Spent most of the day reading and trying to make my back not ache, as sandwichboy took all the Advil with him to work. Kind of knew that this was one of the days I wasn't about to get anything done, but feeling a little guilty about it all the same. For some reason, it's important to me that I have something to show for the day when the boy gets home. Considering he comprises a great deal of my financial and emotional support, I like to...I don't know. Vindicate that faith? Whether it be making words or editing or cleaning the kitchen and running errands if I absolutely can't make with the writing, I like to be able to make good on that support. It isn't given with an expectation of some kind of return, but that doesn't mean I should take it for granted or waste it.

I'm just very bad at doing nothing, I think.

Did achieve words this evening: 1400 or so on the Tower story, which I may not know how to end (and hence the quandary). Can I write a story with a satisfying resolution when it's about a situation I can't resolve myself? Can I give a character an answer when I don't have that answer? Should I even write about thinly disguised Real Life Issues like this? The protagonist has three choices as far as I can see, and all of them are bad. I don't know what she does. I don't know what to do, and I don't know that this is one of those stories that can end on a question. I really think a decision needs to be made. Bleh.

I think I've discovered a theme in what I've written this year, though: that conflict is often unresolved. That broken things don't get fixed. And we kind of just have to cope the best we can with that, even though it feels just so wrong. Just makes it hard to write good fiction on that premise.

Anyways, the boy will indeed be home soon, and I have a lot of thinking to do, promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.

Comments

[ginny-t.livejournal.com]

I like the theme you've got in your writing. Because it's true to life. Sometimes things can't be fixed, can't be made right, and the thing to do is to learn to live with them. There isn't enough writing like that out there.