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leahbobet(ETA: Followup post here.)
So, when I got in this afternoon I was shocked to discover that Harlan Ellison groped Connie Willis during the Hugo presentations on Saturday. On the same page in my friendslist, up comes Rachel Manija Brown's own account of her Harlan encounter this weekend.
And y'know, I'm tired of this inappropriate bullshit. Really, really tired. So this can only be resolved in one fashion:
Fatwa.
We will now address common objections to the Fatwa in our Fatwa on Asshats Questions section (FAQ):
But Leah, Connie Willis is reported to have said she can handle him and he's done worse? Why are we involved?
Because I sincerely doubt otherwise honest persons wake up one morning and say you know what? I would like to grope Connie Willis and then one other woman I don't know and then I will retire from my asshat ways and take up meditation in the mountains. Because there are already a few people I know who are referred to as "thinking they're Harlan Ellison" and you know what? If he gets away with it, they feel they can too. They think it's cute to be an asshat. I don't think it's cute to be an asshat.
Because things that are just plain wrong deserve to get called on the carpet.
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commodorified adds: "Because the fact that Connie Willis chose not to make a loud public scene in the middle of a Hugo ceremony and had the presence of mind to pass it off quietly does not mean she wasn't gravely insulted, and she doesn't deserve to be repaid for that with indifference?"
But Leah, why must we go to war? Why not just a little skirmish?
Fandom prides itself on conventions being "safe space" for all comers: it doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, poly, black, Asian, Middle Eastern, white, Wiccan, Pagan, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Christian, hard of hearing, vision-impaired, mobility-impaired, a goth or dressed as an anime character or any of these things.
But apparently it matters if you have tits.
That is bullshit.
But Leah, it is not worth declaring Fatwa on Harlan Ellison. He is old and will die soon.
Old men will be old men is just another variation on boys will be boys, and they damn well will be boys until you tell them it's not appropriate. If the behaviour makes you uncomfortable, annoyed, angry, outraged -- if you think about it being applied to you and you are any of the above, it is worthwhile to state that it is inappropriate, illegal, and should not be swept under the rug.
But Leah, Harlan Ellison is just one man!
Yup. And the guy who, when I was twenty, told me at a convention that I could have a beer when my top came off was just one man. And the individual who gropeddivalea at Comicon was just one, too. And the guy who was making creepy leers at katallen in Boston two years back was just one too.
Y'know, eventually this shit adds up to a lot. Eventually it adds up to a systemic issue.
ETA:Okay, apparently you can't close polls anymore, and I don't want to make this entry private, so...
So:
[Poll #808886]
Vote early, vote often.
...and forward yourself to the tricky bit of the program.
ETA: Link roundup thus far. Gwenda Bond -- Catherine Morrison (and her part two) -- Gavin Grant -- Graham Sleight -- Edward Champion -- Alan DeNiro -- Elizabeth Bear -- Jim C. Hines -- Steve Nagy -- Lea Hernandez -- Meredith L. Patterson -- Kate (juliansinger) -- Lis Riba part one part two part three --
So, when I got in this afternoon I was shocked to discover that Harlan Ellison groped Connie Willis during the Hugo presentations on Saturday. On the same page in my friendslist, up comes Rachel Manija Brown's own account of her Harlan encounter this weekend.
And y'know, I'm tired of this inappropriate bullshit. Really, really tired. So this can only be resolved in one fashion:
Fatwa.
We will now address common objections to the Fatwa in our Fatwa on Asshats Questions section (FAQ):
But Leah, Connie Willis is reported to have said she can handle him and he's done worse? Why are we involved?
Because I sincerely doubt otherwise honest persons wake up one morning and say you know what? I would like to grope Connie Willis and then one other woman I don't know and then I will retire from my asshat ways and take up meditation in the mountains. Because there are already a few people I know who are referred to as "thinking they're Harlan Ellison" and you know what? If he gets away with it, they feel they can too. They think it's cute to be an asshat. I don't think it's cute to be an asshat.
Because things that are just plain wrong deserve to get called on the carpet.
commodorified adds: "Because the fact that Connie Willis chose not to make a loud public scene in the middle of a Hugo ceremony and had the presence of mind to pass it off quietly does not mean she wasn't gravely insulted, and she doesn't deserve to be repaid for that with indifference?"But Leah, why must we go to war? Why not just a little skirmish?
Fandom prides itself on conventions being "safe space" for all comers: it doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, poly, black, Asian, Middle Eastern, white, Wiccan, Pagan, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Christian, hard of hearing, vision-impaired, mobility-impaired, a goth or dressed as an anime character or any of these things.
But apparently it matters if you have tits.
That is bullshit.
But Leah, it is not worth declaring Fatwa on Harlan Ellison. He is old and will die soon.
Old men will be old men is just another variation on boys will be boys, and they damn well will be boys until you tell them it's not appropriate. If the behaviour makes you uncomfortable, annoyed, angry, outraged -- if you think about it being applied to you and you are any of the above, it is worthwhile to state that it is inappropriate, illegal, and should not be swept under the rug.
But Leah, Harlan Ellison is just one man!
Yup. And the guy who, when I was twenty, told me at a convention that I could have a beer when my top came off was just one man. And the individual who groped
divalea at Comicon was just one, too. And the guy who was making creepy leers at katallen in Boston two years back was just one too.Y'know, eventually this shit adds up to a lot. Eventually it adds up to a systemic issue.
ETA:Okay, apparently you can't close polls anymore, and I don't want to make this entry private, so...
So:
[Poll #808886]
Vote early, vote often.
...and forward yourself to the tricky bit of the program.
ETA: Link roundup thus far. Gwenda Bond -- Catherine Morrison (and her part two) -- Gavin Grant -- Graham Sleight -- Edward Champion -- Alan DeNiro -- Elizabeth Bear -- Jim C. Hines -- Steve Nagy -- Lea Hernandez -- Meredith L. Patterson -- Kate (
juliansinger) -- Lis Riba part one part two part three --
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Re: let's just take away his comp
Date: 2006-08-31 06:34 pm (UTC)Foolish unclassy seventies men.
Re: let's just take away his comp
Date: 2006-08-31 07:01 pm (UTC)Maybe a little historical perspective - while sexuality was "opening up" more in the '60s and '70s, I have a feeling the early feminists, especially after the advent of the Pill, had a harder time saying "no" to men.
By the time I was ready to date in the '70s, it never occurred to me to go to bed with a man merely because he asked me to to tried to pick me up.
Not that I got asked too much. I was a big, smart, loudmouth kid. I dated very little before I found fandom.
In fandom, as there were fewer women than in the general public, and as the men were a little smarter themselves and not as daunted by smart women, I had a whole social life. Yes, there was a little inappropriate groping from time to time, and maybe a very abrupt kiss or a proposition when I wasn't particularly interested. But I never had the experience in fandom of having to fight my way out of a situation. I'd say no, back off, and all was well.
I got propositioned BY LETTERS by some guys in fandom because they felt too uncomfortable to ask me in real life. I always turned them down.
At one point in 1975, I was drunk and in a hotel room late at night with a cute older guy I'd only just met. He planted a very definite "come hither" kiss on me, and I just smiled and said, "No, but I'ld like to talk with you some more." And we talked politely for about another half hour or so.
Now, in retrospect, it was a really stupid thing to be alone with a guy in a hotel room while drunk. But it was fandom and I felt safe.
This is very different from many situations I've heard from mundane women. I've heard some pretty awful stories of rape and sexual assault in dating situations. And while I'm not saying "that would never happen in fandom," it doesn't seem to happen all that often.
So, don't get me wrong - I'm not trying to justify boorish behavior on anyone's part. But what I am saying is that things are really not so bad in fandom. And some of this is pretty funny when you get right down to it.
Re: let's just take away his comp
Date: 2006-08-31 07:03 pm (UTC)Maybe a little historical perspective - while sexuality was "opening up" more in the '60s and '70s, I have a feeling the early feminists, especially after the advent of the Pill, had a harder time saying "no" to men.
By the time I was ready to date in the '70s, it never occurred to me to go to bed with a man merely because he asked me to to tried to pick me up.
Not that I got asked too much. I was a big, smart, loudmouth kid. I dated very little before I found fandom.
In fandom, as there were fewer women than in the general public, and as the men were a little smarter themselves and not as daunted by smart women, I had a whole social life. Yes, there was a little inappropriate groping from time to time, and maybe a very abrupt kiss or a proposition when I wasn't particularly interested. But I never had the experience in fandom of having to fight my way out of a situation. I'd say no, back off, and all was well.
I got propositioned BY LETTERS by some guys in fandom because they felt too uncomfortable to ask me in real life. I always turned them down.
At one point in 1975, I was drunk and in a hotel room late at night with a cute older guy I'd only just met. He planted a very definite "come hither" kiss on me, and I just smiled and said, "No, but I'ld like to talk with you some more." And we talked politely for about another half hour or so.
Now, in retrospect, it was a really stupid thing to be alone with a guy in a hotel room while drunk. But it was fandom and I felt safe.
This is very different from many situations I've heard from mundane women. I've heard some pretty awful stories of rape and sexual assault in dating situations. And while I'm not saying "that would never happen in fandom," it doesn't seem to happen all that often.
So, don't get me wrong - I'm not trying to justify boorish behavior on anyone's part. But what I am saying is that things are really not so bad in fandom. And some of this is pretty funny when you get right down to it.