My tricky point with condolences is actually the cases where I neither mean nor feel it.
In neutral situations, I can mean it without feeling it. I am sorry that this person hurts and has lost; I don't have to feel the loss myself.
In non-neutral situations, well. Death in your circle or not, I continue to not owe you anything, and there will be no reprieve of the dislike you have justly earned. The social expectation that I ought to suspend it...rankles. That death is not between them and me.
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timeasmymeasure
Re: Now I am all thinky.
Date: 2008-02-01 03:21 am (UTC)In neutral situations, I can mean it without feeling it. I am sorry that this person hurts and has lost; I don't have to feel the loss myself.
In non-neutral situations, well. Death in your circle or not, I continue to not owe you anything, and there will be no reprieve of the dislike you have justly earned. The social expectation that I ought to suspend it...rankles. That death is not between them and me.