Harlan Ellison and his little personal space problem

[leahbobet]

(ETA: Followup post here.)


So, when I got in this afternoon I was shocked to discover that Harlan Ellison groped Connie Willis during the Hugo presentations on Saturday. On the same page in my friendslist, up comes Rachel Manija Brown's own account of her Harlan encounter this weekend.

And y'know, I'm tired of this inappropriate bullshit. Really, really tired. So this can only be resolved in one fashion:

Fatwa.

We will now address common objections to the Fatwa in our Fatwa on Asshats Questions section (FAQ):

But Leah, Connie Willis is reported to have said she can handle him and he's done worse? Why are we involved?

Because I sincerely doubt otherwise honest persons wake up one morning and say you know what? I would like to grope Connie Willis and then one other woman I don't know and then I will retire from my asshat ways and take up meditation in the mountains. Because there are already a few people I know who are referred to as "thinking they're Harlan Ellison" and you know what? If he gets away with it, they feel they can too. They think it's cute to be an asshat. I don't think it's cute to be an asshat.

Because things that are just plain wrong deserve to get called on the carpet.

commodorified adds: "Because the fact that Connie Willis chose not to make a loud public scene in the middle of a Hugo ceremony and had the presence of mind to pass it off quietly does not mean she wasn't gravely insulted, and she doesn't deserve to be repaid for that with indifference?"

But Leah, why must we go to war? Why not just a little skirmish?

Fandom prides itself on conventions being "safe space" for all comers: it doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, poly, black, Asian, Middle Eastern, white, Wiccan, Pagan, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Christian, hard of hearing, vision-impaired, mobility-impaired, a goth or dressed as an anime character or any of these things.

But apparently it matters if you have tits.

That is bullshit.

But Leah, it is not worth declaring Fatwa on Harlan Ellison. He is old and will die soon.

Old men will be old men is just another variation on boys will be boys, and they damn well will be boys until you tell them it's not appropriate. If the behaviour makes you uncomfortable, annoyed, angry, outraged -- if you think about it being applied to you and you are any of the above, it is worthwhile to state that it is inappropriate, illegal, and should not be swept under the rug.

But Leah, Harlan Ellison is just one man!

Yup. And the guy who, when I was twenty, told me at a convention that I could have a beer when my top came off was just one man. And the individual who groped divalea at Comicon was just one, too. And the guy who was making creepy leers at katallen in Boston two years back was just one too.

Y'know, eventually this shit adds up to a lot. Eventually it adds up to a systemic issue.


ETA:Okay, apparently you can't close polls anymore, and I don't want to make this entry private, so...

So:

[Poll #808886]

Vote early, vote often.

...and forward yourself to the tricky bit of the program.


ETA: Link roundup thus far. Gwenda Bond -- Catherine Morrison (and her part two) -- Gavin Grant -- Graham Sleight -- Edward Champion -- Alan DeNiro -- Elizabeth Bear -- Jim C. Hines -- Steve Nagy -- Lea Hernandez -- Meredith L. Patterson -- Kate (juliansinger) -- Lis Riba part one part two part three --

Comments

[arctangent.livejournal.com]

Great.

The next time I'm walking down the street, looking around and minding my own business, and a loud angry woman buttonholes me for "gawking" at her when I wasn't even looking at her ugly ass but simply looking around at the scenery rather than keeping my head down and eyes pointed at the pavement like every damn guy does at my school does to avoid this shit, then *I* will punch *her* in the throat.

(Don't start an argument with me about why I shouldn't actually punch her in the throat, since I'm not actually going to do it any more than any of you are going to punch Harlan Ellison anywhere. I just like to answer people's empty boasts of escalating violence with my own. It's one of those male dominance things we brutish ugly males do. When we're thirteen.)

[ringwoodcomics.livejournal.com]

This is so wrong-headed, so completely loaded with projection, such a complete disconnect from anything actually previously said... are you sure you're in the right conversation?

[dolphin--girl.livejournal.com]

This is very silly hyperbole, Arthur. What I'm about to say is not an argument, but rather an attempt (which will probably prove fruitless, but I'm going to brave the shark infested waters nonetheless) to bring this shouting match in Leah's comment section to a more constructive conversation by attempting to focus on a point that is being lost here.

Flirtation is harmless, as long as you disengage when the woman makes it clear she is not interested. Most women I know hold this opinion.

Some women, yes, will scream at you if you look at her funny. Some Christians scream at me at work and threaten to get me fired if I tell them the coelacanth has been around for 350 million years. I don't take them to represent Christianity as a whole, nor should these woman represent our gender as a whole. We're not all completely without perspective.

However, a woman's breast is a very personal, very intimate thing. There's a reason why mastectomies are so psychologically scarring, and why when I worked at the Cancer Society, we were more concerned with having breast forms on hand than wigs. Some women don't see breasts as a big deal. To some women, they are every bit as intimate as the vagina.

Some women are fine joking around with or showing off their breasts or their bodies. Some women are not. But one should never touch or demand to see a woman's breasts unless one is absolutely sure she would find it amusing. Usually the only way to be sure is to ask her.

Touching a woman's breasts uninvited, smacking her ass without finding out how she would view the gesture, or otherwise treating her as an object instead of a human being, is never okay.

We would like the certain subset of fandom that is still unclear on this concept to become clear on it.

That's really all there is too it.